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Maybe take a look at tIDEtIDE? It's a XNA 3.1/4.0 solution for using tiles. It also has support for Tiled and Mappy (suggested in the other answers).
And to answer your basic question, XML is the way to go.
Maybe take a look at tIDE? It's a XNA 3.1/4.0 solution for using tiles. It also has support for Tiled and Mappy (suggested in the other answers).