From your description I still don't get your point. That's what I've understood so far.
You take some operation of some columns to determine the x- and y-coordinates (in your case: $3-$10 and $196-$203).
And now, you want to determine the color of the datapoint by what? By some condition?
What is the condition? So, what color do you want if the condition is met ($196==$203) and what color do you want to have if the condition is not met (i.e. $196!=$203).
I order to get any further, I made a minimal example with data and with graph.
If the value in column 3 is equal to the value in column 4 the color of the datapoint will be according to the palette using column 3, and NaN (= not plotted) otherwise. Is this coming close to what you want to achieve? Maybe we can go on from this...
Code:
### conditional plotting
reset session
$Data <<EOD
1 21 1 0
2 22 2 2
3 23 3 0
4 24 4 4
5 25 5 0
6 26 6 6
7 27 7 0
EOD
set palette rgb 33,13,10
plot $Data u ($1+$2):($3+$4):($3==$4 ? $4 : NaN) w p pt 7 ps 3 lc palette notitle
### end of code
Result:

using (column("Age")):(column(1))$196==$203and what should be plotted if$196!=$203? Do you want to have a point plotted or not, or just in different color if the condition is met? What do you mean with 3rd axis? Do you want to have a 3D x,y,z plot? Then checkhelp splot.