PHP: Interpret arguments as array?

Question

I have been trying to write a class to make inserting items into a database a little easier for my classmates. To do so I want to make a function in that class that will take all columns and values as an array of keys and values. Obviously I could do the following:

class aClass {
    public function aFunction( $args ) {
    }
}

(new aClass)->aFunction( Array( 'column1' => 'value1', 'column2' => 'value2' ) );

That would create an array $args with $args[column] = value. And I know I am not the first person to ask this but I want it fancier damnit. I am looking for an alternative that will at least be fancier than the above example. It didn't take long for me to realise that '=>' is a straight up syntax error for every class besides Array. So then, I have tried two more things, one of which was worse and one of which didn't work because my reasoning failed.

class aClass {
    public function aFunction( ) {
        $args = func_get_args();
    }
}

(new aClass)->aFunction( 'value1', 'value2' );

The above is pretty neat, however I know of no way to pass the column names without making it longer and stupider than the first example.

class aClass {
    public function aFunction( ) {
        $args = get_defined_vars();
    }
}

(new aClass)->aFunction( $column1 = 'value1', $column2 = 'value2' );

The above would be alright, besides the fact that it doesn't work. I assume it doesn't work because "$column1 = 'value1'" would just return "'value'" on succes, which makes it a stupidly long and resource inefficient way of just writing "'value'".

Any sugestions? I know it's kinda stupid and the question has probably been asked before but it just seems unfair that only the Array class gets to have that syntaxis. I have actually been googling for hours right now, dear god please help my ocd.

edit: Even if it is just something to make the php parser interpret => as a comma so I can just use the modulus operator, anything is better.

You could use the new short array notation (PHP >=5.4). Example: $a = [1, 2, 3, 4]; or $a = ['one' => 1, 'two' => 2, 'three' => 3, 'four' => 4]; — Linblow
– Linblow, Commented Mar 12, 2014 at 15:03

Jesper Blaase · Accepted Answer · 2014-03-12 15:06:54Z

You could use something like this as a template, it still needs some work.

<?php

class DB{
        private $cols;
        private $values;


        public function __call($method,$arguments){
                $this->cols[] = "`".$method."`=?";
                $this->values[] = $arguments[0];
                return $this;
        }

        public function exec(){
                $sql = "INSERT INTO `test` SET ";
                $sql .= implode(",",$this->cols);
                echo "SQL for prepared statement: ".$sql."\n";
                echo "Values:\n";
                print_r($this->values);
        }


        public static function insert(){
                return new self();
        }

}

//Usage    
DB::insert()->column1('value1')->column2('value2')->exec();

Output:

SQL for prepared statement: INSERT INTO `test` SET `column1`=?,`column2`=?
Values:
Array
(
    [0] => value1
    [1] => value2
)

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